At that time, the state affairs of Wei were already controlled by Nanzi, the wife of Duke Ling of Wei. Hearing that Confucius had returned to Wei, Nanzi wanted to use his reputation to elevate herself, so she specially sent someone to deliver a message to Confucius. The messenger said: "Gentlemen from all directions who wish to form brotherly ties with our ruler of Wei must first come to see our ruler's wife; our ruler's wife also wishes to meet you." The implication was that visitors from afar could not gain Duke Ling's favor without first paying homage to Nanzi. Nanzi had a poor reputation at the time, and she placed herself above the ruler, interfering in state governance. Faced with such a unique political figure, Confucius, wishing to maintain his integrity, did not want to meet her and thus politely declined. Nanzi's envoy urged him repeatedly, and Confucius, unable to resist the pressure, was compelled to go see Nanzi.
During the meeting, Nanzi stood behind a curtain. Confucius entered the gate, knelt northward, and performed the bowing ritual. Nanzi returned the bow from behind the curtain, and the jade ornaments on her dress made a crisp sound. Afterwards, Confucius said, "I had always been unwilling to see her, but since I had no choice, I had to treat her with Li (Propriety)." When Zi Lu (a bold and outspoken disciple) heard about this, he believed it violated the master's consistent principles and showed great displeasure. Confucius, perhaps aware that his actions would stir up controversy, repeatedly explained to the dissatisfied Zi Lu that it was merely a ceremonial visit without any intention of seeking high office or wealth. He even swore, "If I went to see her for any reason other than the faint hope of realizing the Dao (The Way) through a ruler, then may Heaven abandon me! May Heaven abandon me!" This episode makes it feel as if the roles of teacher and student were completely reversed. Both Zi Lu and Confucius reacted with unusual intensity, entirely inconsistent with the typically gentle, reserved, andsubtle (implicit and restrained) image of a Confucian scholar. This shows how controversial Confucius's meeting with Nanzi was.
However, Confucius and his disciples temporarily settled in the State of Wei. Duke Ling of Wei still provided them with generous treatment, but he only had the intention of honoring worthy men without the will to employ them, showing a lack of genuine respect and regard for Confucius. Instead, some of Confucius’s disciples successively took up positions in Wei. For instance, Gao Chai served as a judge (Shi Shi), and Zi Lu (Confucius's disciple) was dispatched to govern Pu Yi after a rebellion. Occasionally, Confucius was summoned by Duke Ling of Wei to attend upon him.
Not long after, Duke Ling of Wei openly rode in the same carriage with Nanzi (his consort), with the eunuch Yong Qu attending on the right, as they left the palace. Confucius was made to ride in the second carriage behind them, swaggering through the marketplace. Deeply humiliated, Confucius sighed, "I have yet to see anyone who loves De (Virtue) as much as they love physical beauty." Duke Ling's incompetence and indulgence in sensual pleasures, leading to the usurpation of power by the inner palace, was the best annotation for this remark. Disgusted and disappointed with everything here, Confucius intended to leave the State of Wei.
At that time, Crown Prince Kuai Kui, the designated heir of Duke Ling of Wei, was dissatisfied with the licentious behavior of Nanzi (Duke Ling's wife). He attempted to kill her but failed, fleeing to Jin to seek refuge with Zhao Yang (a powerful minister of Jin). In the second year of Duke Ai of Lu (493 BCE), Duke Ling of Wei died. The people of Wei installed Kuai Kui's son, Zhe, as ruler, known as Duke Chu of Wei (also called Duke Xiao). Zhao Yang, a minister of Jin, vigorously supported Kuai Kui in returning to Wei to contend for the throne against his own son. Kuai Kui arrived at Qi Yi (a town on the Jin-Wei border), establishing it as his stronghold, while the State of Qi assisted the newly enthroned Zhe by besieging Qi Yi. Confucius witnessed the father and son of Wei's ruling house turning against each other, fighting within the same clan, and deeply felt that a troubled state was difficult to live in. Moreover, Wei had always kept him on a shelf, leaving his talents unused. After residing in Wei for five years, the group had no choice but to leave, seeking another state that could employ his Way (Dao).