When Confucius was twenty years old, his son Kong Li was born. Duke Zhao of Lu sent someone to present Confucius with a carp as a congratulatory gift. Feeling honored by the ruler's bestowal, Confucius named his son Kong Li (meaning "carp").
One day, Confucius's disciple Chen Kang asked Kong Li (Confucius's son): "Have you received any special teachings from your father?" Kong Li replied: "No. Once my father stood alone in the courtyard; I hurried past, and he asked: 'Have you studied the Classic of Poetry (Shijing)?' I said: 'No.' He said: 'Without studying the Poetry, you cannot speak properly.' So I withdrew and studied it. Another day, he again stood alone in the courtyard; I hurried past, and he asked: 'Have you studied Li (Propriety)?' I said: 'No.' He said: 'Without studying Li, you have no foundation to establish yourself in society.' So I returned and studied it. These are the only two things I heard." Chen Kang went away delighted and said: "I asked one question but gained three insights: I learned the importance of studying the Poetry, the necessity of studying Li, and that a Junzi (Exemplary Person) does not show partiality toward his own son."
The story of Kong Li (Confucius's son) being taught by his father, learning the Classic of Poetry (Shijing) and the rites (Li), has been passed down as a celebrated tale. Confucius's teachings to his son were revered as "ancestral instructions," and gradually gave rise to the Kong family tradition of "passing down the legacy through poetry and propriety."
One day, Confucius said to his son Kong Li, "Have you studied the Zhou Nan and Shao Nan (two sections of the Classic of Poetry)? If a person does not study the Zhou Nan and Shao Nan, it is like standing facing a wall!"
Once, Confucius said to his son Kong Li: "Li'er, I have heard that the only thing one can do with others all day without tiring is learning. Physical appearance is not worth admiring, bravery and strength are not worth fearing, ancestors are not enough to boast about, and clan lineage is not enough to praise. Ultimately, achieving great fame, becoming renowned in the world, and passing one's name down to future generations—is this not the effect of learning? Therefore, a Junzi (Exemplary Person) must not fail to learn, and must not fail to cultivate his appearance. Without cultivation, there is no proper demeanor; without proper demeanor, one loses close relations; losing close relations prevents one from exerting utmost effort; without utmost effort, one loses Li (Propriety); and without Li, one cannot establish oneself in society. The brilliance that shines from afar is the result of cultivation; the brightness seen up close is the outcome of learning. It is like a pond: when water flows into it, water plants grow. Seen from above, one knows it is not a spring."