The *Analects* frequently mentions the character *you* (友), which fundamentally means "friend." In ancient times, *peng* (朋) referred to those who studied under the same teacher, while *you* (友) denoted those who shared the same aspirations—what was called "same aim" (*tongzhi*), meaning individuals who did not necessarily study together but were aligned in their life goals. In the *Analects*, the two characters are often combined as *pengyou* (friends). For example: "Friends should be earnest and respectful with one another" (*Analects*, 13.28), and "If you serve your lord too frequently, you will incur disgrace; if you associate with friends too frequently, you will be kept at a distance" (*Analects*, 4.26).
Confucius's approach to friendship was closely tied to his political ideals. When someone once asked him why he did not engage in politics, Confucius quoted the *Book of Documents* in reply: "It is said in the *Book*: 'Be filial, only filial, and friendly toward your brothers, and extend this to governance.' This too is participating in politics. Why must one hold office to be considered engaged in politics?" (*Analects*, 2.21). In other words, by spreading the influence of filial piety and brotherly affection into the realm of governance, one is already taking part in politics—there is no need to hold an official post. Confucius also had a principle for making friends: "Do not befriend those who are not your equal" (*Analects*, 1.8). When Zigong asked how to cultivate benevolence (*ren*), Confucius replied: "A craftsman who wishes to do his work well must first sharpen his tools. In whatever state you reside, serve the worthy among its officials and befriend the benevolent among its scholars" (*Analects*, 15.10). Through such friendships with those who were superior or held higher status, Confucius hoped to exert influence on politics. This thinking naturally influenced his disciples. Zengzi once said: "The exemplary person (*junzi*) makes friends through culture (*wen*), and then relies on friends to support benevolence" (*Analects*, 12.24).
Confucius's foremost principle in dealing with friends was sincerity. He said: "To harbor resentment while pretending to be friendly—this is something Zuo Qiuming considered shameful, and I too consider it shameful" (*Analects*, 5.25). His disciple Zengzi was particularly attentive to this, as he "examined himself three times daily," asking: "In my dealings with friends, have I been trustworthy?" (*Analects*, 1.4). While being sincere with friends, Confucius also hoped to earn their trust. He expressed his aspiration: "I wish to comfort the elderly, to be trusted by friends, and to cherish the young" (*Analects*, 5.26). Another aspect was exerting influence through advice and guidance. When Zigong asked how to treat friends, Confucius told him: "Give them loyal advice and guide them well. If they do not accept it, stop—do not bring disgrace upon yourself" (*Analects*, 12.23). Confucius was also cautious in choosing friends, saying: "There are three kinds of beneficial friends and three kinds of harmful friends. Friends who are upright, friends who are trustworthy, and friends who are well-informed—these are beneficial. Friends who are obsequious, friends who are flattering but insincere, and friends who are glib talkers—these are harmful" (*Analects*, 16.4). He thus distinguished three types of beneficial friends and three types of harmful friends, holding that associating with those who are upright, honest, and broadly learned brings benefit, while befriending those who are sycophantic, superficially agreeable but slanderous behind one's back, or boastful and glib brings harm.